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Five Sisters Take Vacation

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Five Sisters Take Vacation

 

Five sisters gathered at the little local pub in the tiny town of Channing, Michigan.  Having lost both of their parents a few days apart and only recently, they thought they’d try to maintain some family closeness and unity.  Connie is the oldest, 49, next in line, Barb, 48, Kris, 47, Judy, 45, and Kelly, 35.  the two brothers, 43, and 29.  Yes the baby, Don is 29, twenty years younger than the oldest.  (Rhythm method in this Catholic family failed).

     The girls decided to make plans for a vacation together, no brothers, no husbands, no kids were invited.  This would be a “sister” trip.  The five will travel in Barb’s mini-van with just enough luggage for a week, and drive across the states via Canada to the East coast:  destination Cape Cod.

     It was decided mutually that each sister would have a responsibility.  Connie took charge of the beverage cooler.  Beer and whiskey was neatly tucked at the bottom of lots of ice in case the vehicle broke down in a dry county.   Kris had the duty to organize luggage and pack up the van and still fit the five women.  The luggage would have to be tied to the top of the van and covered with a tarp.  Judy’s task was to manage our money.  The kitty was enormous with each girl tossing in her gross monthly earnings.  All duties were out leaving Kelly with none. 

     The trip was underway, all five women laughing, chatting, and singing;  loving each other and the thought of time away.  The Ontario drive was uneventful and pleasant.  Vermont mountains were spectacular.  Kris bought mayple syrup, Judy bought shirts, Barb and Kelly enjoyed the pubs, and Connie strolled the village streets.  Then off to New York City.  They took the train into Grand Central Station, walked 5th Avenue, saw the Empire State Building, visited Broadway, and enjoyed the bustle of the unfamiliar bit city life.  After four hours of walking, lost in the city, not recognizing the Empire Building, and after having eaten and drinking at a pub, the women decided to head for the train station.  They were followed by a homeless street vicitim and harassed by a gang of hoodlums.  Being exhausted they finally found their way back to Grand Central Station.  It was the general concensus that New York City had enough visitors;  these small town women would just cut the heck out of here.

     The women made their way to Cape Cod after a harrowing experience in downtown Boston on a Friday afternoon.  The five women two days ago, loving and smiling, were now somewhat disliking one another and frequently frowning.  The cape would do good for the girls though.  Kris and Judy spent hours on the beach.  Connie spent her time in the hotel bar, and Barb and Kelly at the beach bar.  The sun was warm and days were peaceful. 

     The van was securely packed up once again and time to head west toward home.  The last leg of the vacation would prove to be the most streesful times of their lives.   In the van, after five days of close contact, tensions had surfaced.  The driving and directions seemed to be in constant error.  The cooler was never stocked properly, as the contents changed from pop and beer to very potent Canadian liquor.  The munchie bag was nearly empty, and the money kitty was almost depleted.  Suitcases were bulging with souveniers and extra clothes bought.  The nerves of the women were frazzled, and home was only two days away. 

     It was time to head to the Michigan border.  Queen’s highway, six lanes one way, was very busy at 4:00 on the way to Michigan.  Kris decided to pick up the driving duties, after having spent relentless hours on securing the baggage to the top of the van.  Alll five women now only wished for home;  even their kids and husbands were more appealing than before.  Cruising along at 120 kilometers/per hour, Kris noticed a tugging at the wheels.  A car sped by with a passenger flailing his arms out the window and pointing as though they new the Michigan women.  Barb thought it was the Packer bumper sticker.  Finally someone was in agreement with football teams;  they must be getting closer to home.  Another car sailed by with the same type of gesturing passengers.  Suddenly, Barb looked back to see something like a large purse being run over by a vehicle.  Then another piece smacked up on the windshield of another vechicle.  The women saw out the rear of the van pieces of luggage being crushed and spewn about.  Horns were blaring and motorists passed with arms waving out windows and displaying numerous other hand gestures.  All the girls at once, yes, indeed, it was their luggage flying through the air and into the paths of following cars.  Kris steered the van to the side of the road, and the ladies accepted their fate.  They each in their own quiet and selfish manners envisioned their own precious treasures in their bags.  After a moment of dull realization, looking at the broken luggage straps, the women suddenly raced to the highway and tried desperately to stop the speeding vechicles.  Bits of broken suitcases, tidbits of souvenirs, and clothing of all sorts were being tossed from the hoods of cars.  Kelly, as she thought of the new spring coat she recently purchased, watched as it flew by encircled in a tire of a fast moving car.  Kris, thinking of the maple syrup, screeched at the sound of crunching glass as contents of her bag was crushed by an 18 wheel truck.  Barb thought of the only iron she owned as it was being flattened by a Toyota tire.  Judy shouted, “my new suitcase”! as it was being shred apart.  Twelve hundred cars sped by the women, and only one man stopped to help the women. He attempted to stop the traffic long enough to remove some of the litter from the highway.   The young man assisted in retrieving clothing, bits of luggage, and all metal dangers.  After a few moments of mad scrambling, only a few undergarments remained on the highway, which the young lad refused to gather. Standing along the highway amidst the rubble, Kelly cried, Judy cursed, Barb sat down, Kris feared the rage of her sisters, Connie opened a beer.  A passerby yelled out “loose your luggage”?.  Connie yelled back,”no we’re having a F*** yard sale!”

     The ladies dragged the tarp of left over baggage to the hotel.  Connie decided it was dinner time, Kelly and Barb decided it was Miller time, Judy and Kris decided it was “give it up time”.  The girls headed for the bar.  The day of lost luggage was traumatic, but the day did not end without more hazardous events.  The bar and grill had tablecloths made of paper bag like tops meant for pencil doodling.  Connie leaned back, lit a cigarette.  The peaceful moment was interrupted by a shriek from Judy, “Connie!, Fire!”

Connie’s lighter erupted into flames and started the table top on fire.  Tossing whiskey on the flames only fueled the fire;  thus creating more fire. After the smoke and dust settled, damage was minimal.  Connie had black fingers, Judy’s tears had dried on her face, Barb’s heart had calmed a bit, Kris had a few more gray hairs, and Kelly grabbed another beer.

     The sister vacation came to a close as the van entered the US customs.  When asked about purchases and identities, the immigration attendant was much relieved to allow passage for the five Michigan women after listening to a few lines uttered about no luggage, no food, no items. 

     Five sisters and two brothers gathered at the local pub six months later.  They brought maps and charts to plan the next vacation,.

 

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